Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Mud Run that Led to the Strangest Stranger


            Melinda, my cousin, Christina, and I had just participated in a mud run. We had so much fun going through the obstacles and the mud. I was proud of myself, because I ran the whole course. Among the many other mud runners, Christina came in first. Melinda was second and I was third.
            My adrenaline had me on a high and Melinda and I were laughing and joking around as we cleaned up from the mud. Suddenly, we heard there was a prize for the first place winner. We exchanged shocked looks, because we thought it was just a “for fun” run.
            I looked over for my cousin to see if she had heard the news. She was warming down from the run and smiling as people came up to congratulate her. I thought to myself, “How great for Christina!” Then, we heard that the prize money was $100,000. As happy as I was for my cousin, my adrenaline high began to fade and I couldn’t help but feel bummed out. I began to think to myself, “Well, if we had known the mud run was for money, maybe I would have tried harder.”
            I looked over at Melinda and I could tell she was thinking the same thing. We made eye contact and laughed at ourselves. We packed up our stuff and started to head to the parking lot.
We saw some mutual friends. They asked us how we did. We told them how Christina won and Melinda had come in second. Before we had the chance to tell them I came in third, they said, “If Melinda came in third, Jeanne must have come in 6th.” I was indignant.
Before I could defend myself, we saw Christina in the parking lot. I hugged her congratulating her.
            “$100,000! I can’t believe you won $100,000!” I exclaimed to her, trying my best to be happy for her.
            She chuckled, “No, Cousin. It’s just $5,000.”
            “Oh, well, you can still do a lot with $5,000.” I said as I thought of all I could do with $5,000.
            We parted ways and Melinda and I headed to our next destination together. We were headed to a building where friends of ours were having a procedure done. Once we arrived, we found our way to the waiting room. Our friends were just being called in and they beckoned us to follow them.
            We listened as the doctor explained the procedure. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew my friends wanted to have a baby and were having trouble getting pregnant, but I couldn’t believe it was possible to go about it this way. The doctor was explaining how they would impregnate the husband!
            The rest of the appointment was a blur. I think I was in shock from what I had heard. We got in the car and were driving down the street. (Interesting thing was that it was a street leading to where my parents actually live.) We saw a strange guy standing out on the sidewalk. My friends pulled over and got out of the car. Melinda and I looked at each other confused. We took the opportunity to whisper to each other our mutual disbelief over what was going on.
 As we were talking, however, our friends approached the car with the stranger. We stopped talking abruptly as we took notice of the stranger. He was an older man who looked like he needed to get his grey unruly hair cut desperately. He had a sweatband around his head and was unshaven. He was wearing a white tight tank top, yellow basketball shorts, with knee high socks and high top tennis shoes. Only, what was most unusual about him was not his clothing.
His stomach protruded out like a very firm beer belly. His tank top was cut in a circle, so that his bare stomach was exposed. His stomach, however, was not covered by skin. It was covered by kernels of corn.
Melinda and I were speechless. All we could do was listen to the conversation going on outside the car.
“It will work. I swear,” the stranger urged the wife. Her husband was standing a short distance away with his back to us.
“I just don’t know if it’s a good idea, “she replied hesitantly. “We already have an appointment with our doctor.”
“Can your doctor do it for the price I’m asking?” the stranger challenged.
She shook her head and looked toward her husband. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I didn’t want my friends near this corn stomach stranger.
The stranger took her silence as confirmation and walked toward her husband. He was chatting and it seemed like he was rubbing his stomach. He returned quickly to tell our friend that it already worked. I heard him say, “His cervix is already dilated.”
All I could think was, “Men don’t have a cervix!”
Suddenly a white van came screeching around the corner. It was the doctor’s office. They were furious my friends had allowed this stranger to impregnate the husband. My friends jumped in the car and drove away in a hurry. The stranger ran from van.
The van was following us. Somehow we knew they wouldn’t allow the husband to have this baby. They had just wanted to impregnate him, so they could experiment on a pregnant man. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t believe I got mixed up in this and I couldn’t erase the image of the corn stomach stranger from my mind.

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